What a day!

What a damned day. Thanks brain for the wild anxiety all fucking day for literally no reason. Its been ages since I felt that intense level of anxiety. I'm so drained but I'm okay. My anxiety has calmed down, I'm wrapped up in my heating blanket, resting, I'm beat. Survived the day though. Some days it just be like this I guess. haha. Promise I'm okay, just overwhelmed the last couple weeks and my health has been going down for the last month. Its the nature of the beast, so many things are happening, the bad days have become less and less, and more manageable. I've come a long way and that's all I know I need to remember. I just pray for the strength to get me thru this bout and keep being the best person I can be because that's all I know how. This is all learning as I continue to grow. It's painful some days but I feel that even though I struggle sometimes, I take away something new each day. Todays takeaway? Even though I was having the worst anxiety I've had at work in years, I still managed to handle myself at work, ringing out customers and doing the paperwork, and once I managed to calm myself down toward the end of my shift I still managed to finish my checks and clean up my disaster behind the counter as I knew what was going on but I realized the person coming in would take one look and just wonder what tornado went off and I never want to leave a disaster for anyone. I had that done to me so many times and made me so resentful so I feel really accomplished that even though things weren't perfect, it was as good as I could have possibly done it. Gotta stay positive about myself to stay out of the deep abyss that I know could swallow me up if I don't keep fighting, coping, and learning.