Gone Banished

My privacy violated, allegedly, spies on the internet from the corporate demon, even with my settings set to private. Delete! I have left the toxic cesspool that is Facebook/Meta. That involves shutting down the Ash’s life Facebook page. It is no more I’m over social media the amount of harassment and bullying and negativity that I see on it on a daily basis. I realize how poisonous it is and I am so over it. My dream has been falling apart in front of my eyes, and my very “private facebook” was being used against me gettinng a start out here.

I’ve developepd trust issues I have ever known. Ai has stepped in and absolutely ruined my life. Sometimes I cant tell what is real and what is fake anymore. Between the brain damage that I feel everyday looking online gives me that a feeling of questioning everything. Its just sick. And honestly so am I. I am depressed, as I watch this dream crumble, have anxiety, PTSD, fibromyalgia, and maybe something else, I’d love to be able to get back to doctors soon. Who knows, it may even be my old Dr’s from PA because I have genuinely come close to calling it recently. But giving it a little more time. I suffered for a decade to get out of PA, I’m willing to go a bit linger before I call it.

My heart is like this fading star.

Once shone bright

Shone far.

Everything collapses in the end,

It’s not greener around the bend.

My star still burns hoping one day It will shine bright again.

Things have not gone good lately, and just like this star I’m fading. It’s crazy how surreal everything feels while everything fails as I see over a decade of work that almost kill me fade to oblivion for nothing. I am down but I’m not out. I am tired, a bit broken, and completely overwhelmed in life.

I have a few small things I want to do around here. Maybe a new wave of inspiration will hit, a new era, I’m thinking, I’m still working at it. Plenty more photos to come! Maybe some digital art and 3d models as well. A novel? I’m threatening! Teasing in my head. The stories been written two times over now. A third and I may release.

With this break in social media, I want to clear my brain, focus on art and nature, and settle in to a more peaceful mindset. My life is ever growing, and growth is painful. I just need to stay the course. This is my dream after all. And I wont ever lose it.